Shooting Star!!!

    There are people in your lifetime that come and go, we all know that but then there's those people who come into your life and leave you scarred forever. These people are very rare, they come into your life and make a difference they touch your heart in ways you wouldn't think is possible. You are my shooting star!!! Rare and unique better than any mother i could ever known. You have been there for me when I thought I had no one, you have encouraged me and keep encouraging me til this day though your gone. God put you in my life for a purpose though we got to spend a small amount of time with each-other. I wish you were near I wish I you didn't have to leave me alone. If i ever doubted you forgive me, if I have ever disappointed you im so sorry. If i haven't told you I love you, and you mean so much more to me than just my friends mother then I have failed you. I hope your watching down on me smiling because Im never going to give up im a fighter and you know it. I hope someday to see you on the other side I LOVE YOU!!!

Build a bridge and get over it!!!!!

   This week has been an ongoing struggle for me . . .mentally and spiritually. In the process of gaining my self-esteem and independence back I picked up some sort of attitude. And i wasn't a good one i picked up an attitude that things have to go my way and if they don't i shut down. Let me be the first to say "this ain't that" as my fiancee would say that isn't the way things work out. See as Christians sometimes we forget to let go and let God, we lose patience and take things in our own hands instead of letting God work. Sometimes the plans we have have for ourselves are not the plans God has for us. Also at times all we do is ask, and ask, and ask. I make it my goal to thank God for the things I do have. I may not have a lot of material things and I sure ain't rich but I have a heart of gold and a supportive family that God has blessed me with.  Three weeks before this Friday I was sitting at a bus station in New York with my fiancee and two kids with no money and no place to stay. If that isn't a testimony what is? How did I do it, how did I get home you ask? God that's how. .I had faith that in the end he  would come through and though at times it got real hard I never doubting him and he came right on time as always and with the love and the support of Kris's family we made it home altogether safe and sound. Matthew 6:33 "Seek the kingdom of God above  all else, and live righteously, and all these things will be given to you as well"
  Written proof right there we cant take things in our own hands, we sometimes we just have to let go. Its easier said than done, I know but why stress over things we cannot control. Isaiah 33:6 says "He will be the sure Foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure" It is clear that God has everything taken care of another text which is one of my favorites proving this is Matthew 6:26 "Look at the birds of air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they"? So in fact by stressing about money, relationships, family, school, and etc we are just ruining our health. Stress can play a part in problems such as headaches, high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, arthritis, depression, and anxiety.The best solution to every trial, struggle, and all your stress is in fact prayer. My goal for this week is to really strengthen myself spiritually with my prayer and to learn to let go and let God. For all you out there who are emotionally exhausted, and you need a change, for  all you out there who feel as if your so far, so unworthy that God cannot hear you, when you've reached your limit and life has knocked you down on your knee's remember you in the best position to pray. 


Your best weapon you could ever have is prayer
So this song goes out to all of you, its one of my favorites by Nancy Amancio: Cuando Oras (when you pray) 

(beautifully shattered)

Random Thoughts

I woke up this morning just so thankful that God has molded me the way he has. When I look at the person I have become I take pride in knowing how far Ive come. I recently have been in the process of healing over certain situations and with prayer and prayer and the support of my fiancee and family I can actually talk about it and open up and be ok. Ive been raped continuously and afterwards got into a four year abusive relationship. . Ive been spit on, kicked down, controlled, thrown around and HERE I STAND bold and as beautiful as ever. God has made me a living testimony. . and i plan to one day help young women and single mothers even men who have been in my same situation or even close to it. Im here to say there is a way. . .

  

 The topic thats been on my mind for days now is a verse from Matthews 17:20 Jesus spoke and said if you had faith as little as a mustard seed you would tell this mountain "move from here to there" and it would move. My favorite example excercising faith as little as a mustard seed is Job. He was torn apart physically and emotionally but never spiritually. No matter what his friends or in fact his wife said or did he never lost faith. As a result of that he got blessed with twice as much as he started out with. Can you imagine everything being taken away from you in a blink of an eye and still lifting up your hands to praise him, still thanking him your alive? Can you? Job was a very great man if you ask me. .now a days people only come to God when they are in need they forget the most important things in life.

   The fact of the matter is we all have certain fears and doubts in each of our personalities. .which in fact malnorishes our spirituality. Our biggest enemy is in fact ourselves though we wont admit it.

   The Bible says in 2 Peter 1:3 that as we grow in our knowledge of God, through his divine power he gives us everything we need for life and godliness. Jesus relied on the Word of God alone to overcome obstacles, including the devil. God's Word is alive and powerful (Hebrews 4:12), useful for correcting us when we are wrong and teaching us what is right (2 Timothy 3:16). So, it makes sense for us to carry God's Word in our hearts through memorization, to be ready to face any problem, every difficulty, and whatsoever challenge that life can send our way.

  If we want a healthy relationship with not only God but also with ourselves and others we have to first work on us. . Our habits, our downfalls, etc. I believe God uses me as a living testimony to one day be able to help young women and single mothers and even men in my situations or situations similar to mine. Being humble I realize is not only being forgiving but also admitting and accepting your mistakes and correcting them.

DO NOT KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT DO NOT EVER FEEL LIKE YOUR ALONE AND NO ONE UNDERSTAND BECAUSE THERE IS A GOD IN HEAVEN THAT SAYS DIFFERENTLY, THAT LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE INSIDE AND OUT. 

For days I have not been able to pray I start and something stops me and I just felt like God did not hear me I felt unworthy and dirty for all that i have gone through I have blamed myself. On top of all the things I have done but today I had a breakthrough. God forgives our sins if we repent and turn away. And always remember it is never too late to turn to him.

Todo lo puedo en Cristo que me fortalece

I can do all things in Christ, who strengthens me

Philippians40;13

This verse gets me through any doubt or fear or even when Im just having a bad day and I hope it will do the same for others.

            *Beautifully Shattered*

more coming on this topic. . stay posted